Feeling a little extra horny while our sex life is thriving is normal.
However, if you're reading this and wondering, "Why am I so horny?" there's a good chance you're searching for a better answer than that!
We are here to let you in on all that is sexual desire, having a high libido, and feeling extra horny.
Read on to discover what it means to have a "normal" sex drive for both men and women and why our libido is bound to ebb and flow throughout our lifetime.
In this article:
Note: Read the whole article or scroll down to the KEY TAKEAWAYS section at the end of this article for a short summary.
The Body's Response to Being Horny
What does it mean to feel "turned on"?
As men and women, we all have a libido: our sexual drive or erotic desire for intimacy and pleasure. Also known as our "sex drive," the libido plays a role in our body's response to feeling horny.
The Emotional Response to Arousal
Someone with a high libido will experience various emotions in response to being sexually aroused, such as happiness, excitement, or eagerness. Though many of these emotions are normal and to be expected when we feel horny, not everyone is the same.
Depending on your relationship with sex and intimacy, some people may experience frustration, disappointment, or disgust.
For example, men struggling with premature ejaculation may feel dread, uncertainty, or shame in response to their arousal based on past experiences with sex.
The Physical Response to Arousal
On the other hand, the physical response to this sexual energy that causes us to desire pleasure depends on our body and genitalia.
Signs of sexual arousal for individuals with a vagina may include:- Vaginal lubrication
- Swelling of the clitoris, vaginal walls, and labia
- Increased length and/or width of the vagina
- Increased blood flow to the penis (i.e., during an erection)
- Foreskin retraction over the head of the penis
- Release of pre-ejaculatory fluid (also known as "pre-cum”) from the penis
- Swollen testicles
Two Categories of Sex Drive
No matter which category of sex drive you may have, rest assured that both are a part of a healthy sexuality.
Sex therapist Vanessa Marin explains that when it comes to feeling horny, there is such a thing as having either a spontaneous or responsive libido.
- Spontaneous libido – This type of sex drive refers to having random spikes of sexual desire throughout the day. It is often the person in a relationship who wants sex more often, initiates sex more frequently and can feel turned on in many different situations.
- Responsive libido – this category of sex drive is one in which you rarely consider sex until you're engaging in it. You'll become aroused at this time, and your sexual urges will be at an all-time high as you explore these desires.
No matter which category of sex drive you may have, rest assured that both are a part of a healthy sexuality. However, for those questioning, "Why am I so horny?" chances are, you're in the category of having a spontaneous libido.
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Heightened testosterone levels are associated with higher libido and feeling hornier than usual.
Many factors cause us to feel sexually aroused, even when it may not make sense. Here are some of the most critical factors that affect male and female libido.
Biological Factors
Many of us may still remember how horny we used to be as teenagers. Many of these biological factors are still at play well into early and late adulthood.
Hormones play a significant role in impacting our sex drive. For both men and women alike, varying levels of our sex hormones can stimulate our sexual interests, make us desire pleasure and create a heightened sex drive.
Testosterone
Testosterone is an essential hormone linked to sexual functioning and desire in both men and women. However, people assigned male at birth are more likely to experience changes in libido due to these testosterone-based hormonal changes.
Heightened testosterone levels are associated with higher libido and feeling hornier than usual.
Many lifestyle and biological factors can affect testosterone, including regular exercise, ovulation and the menstrual cycle, puberty, weight, age, sleep, health conditions, and more.
According to research, restraining frequent masturbation has been shown to play a small role in increasing the release of testosterone and influencing male sexual energy.
Estrogen and Progesterone
Testosterone, estrogen, and progesterone are two important sex hormones that affect libido primarily in people assigned to females at birth.
Estrogen is closely linked with physical symptoms of sexual arousal, including vaginal lubrication and increased blood flow to the genitals.
On the other hand, high progesterone levels can do the opposite, causing a suppressed libido and possible sexual dysfunction in women.
It may also lead to "estrogen dominance," which can destroy a woman's sex drive.
Certified sex therapist Indigo Stray Conger explains that diet and exercise are the best way to keep these two hormones in balance and avoid abnormal spikes in estrogen levels.
This 2018 study found that regular exercise helps release feel-good hormones that boost energy, which can heighten sexual desire in women.
Psychological factors
Psychology is a powerful force when it comes to influencing sexual desires and levels of arousal. Due to the intimate nature of sex and pleasure, our emotions can amplify or eradicate any sexual hunger.
For example, stress, anxiety, and depression all shut down our sex drive, whereas feelings of happiness or sharing an intimate and emotional connection with someone can boost arousal leading to an increased libido.
Aside from emotions, other psychological factors that can influence our libido include our levels of self-esteem, lifestyle, personality, and past experiences.
Social Factors
Along with our hormones and emotions, plenty of social factors cause a high sex drive.
We all know how exciting a new relationship is. During the honeymoon phase of your relationship, it's common to experience greater sexual tension and heightened libido.
Even in long-term healthy relationships, regular sex is linked to creating greater intimacy and connection, making us feel more desired and extra horny.
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it may be more worthwhile to identify whether or not these sexual thoughts and/or behaviors impact your everyday life.
There is nothing wrong with having a heightened sex drive, no matter your age or gender!
According to Stray Conger, sexuality is both "normal and healthy," and with consent and proper upkeep of sexual hygiene, it can help improve our mental and physical health.
So, rather than wondering if it's possible to be "too horny," it may be more worthwhile to identify whether or not these sexual thoughts and/or behaviors impact your everyday life.
Sex therapist and clinical sexologist Cyndi Darnel recommends professional support if your compulsive urges or desires for sex begin to interfere with your work, relationships, and other parts of your life.
ALSO READ: How to Get Harder: 7 Handy Erection Tips for MenFrequently Asked Questions
Why do I get turned on in non-sexual situations?
Though we often connect arousal with sexual activities such as intercourse, foreplay, or masturbation, it's also very normal to experience these same sensations of arousal during any non-sexual situation. For example, dreams, medication, and even stressful situations can cause us to feel horny.
It is all perfectly normal. However, if you're embarrassed, you can redirect this sexual energy through deep breathing or meditation exercises or deal with your urges more directly by masturbating.
Does being horny mean I want sex?
Yes and no. While there are certainly moments where feeling horny is directly associated with desiring sex, it's not always the case. We may either get wet or hard without sex on the mind. For the same reason, our bodies don't always cooperate with our minds when we do feel horny, such as with erectile dysfunction; we may also get wet or hard without sex on the mind.
Why can't I stop feeling horny?
Before you assume you have some sexual addiction, many other logical reasons may explain why you're feeling horny all the time.
Experiencing constant arousal may be due to a medical condition called Persistent Genital Arousal Disorder (PGAD). This phenomenon causes an individual's genitals to become aroused or overly sensitive, even without feelings of sexual desire.
ALSO READ: What's your best sex position? Let's find out.KEY TAKEAWAYS
- For both men and women, feeling horny means that you have a high libido and a healthy sex drive
- When we are horny, we express this emotionally (feelings of happiness, eagerness, etc.) and physically (erection, vaginal wetness, etc.)
- A spontaneous libido is associated with feeling horny throughout the day, even without engaging in sexual activity
- Libido can ebb and flow throughout our lives and may be affected by certain factors including hormones, exercise, relationship status, self-esteem, and so much more
- Wellness professionals agree that there is nothing abnormal about having a high libido; though, it may be helpful to seek professional support if your sexual urges are interfering with your personal or professional life