A ton of lingo describes the many forms of romantic involvement, including 'going out', 'seeing someone', 'friends with benefits', and 'dating'...
In recent years, the term "Situationship" has become increasingly popular to describe a casual relationship.
This article covers everything there is to know about Situationship.
In this article:
Note: Read the whole article or scroll down to the KEY TAKEAWAYS section at the end of this article for a short summary.
What is a Situationship?
A Situationship is somewhere between a casual fling and a committed partnership. It offers plenty of romantic involvement without the commitment typically found in a traditional relationship.
According to a popular Reddit Thread posted in 2023, one user defines a Situationship as "a relationship with an automatic get out of jail free clause one of you can use whenever it suits."
Examples of a Situationship
- The 'go-to' person you text and meet up with when they are in town
- The rebound that arrives on the scene after a breakup
- The love affair that sparked a passionate summer fling without any commitment
- The person you rely on for regular sex or a casual 'booty call' without a defined relationship status
- The guy or girl you enjoy spending time with and even going on dates with but could not see going any further
The problem with a "situationship" is that it is often characterized by ambiguity.
Situationships rarely involve clear boundaries or well-defined expectations compared to a committed romantic relationship. That creates confusion for one of the individuals in the Situationship, causing them to question the nature of the relationship and its direction.
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Without a doubt, Situationships are confusing! Here are some common signs that can help define whether or not you may be involved in one.
No Clear Labels or Commitment
While this may be a romantic or sexual relationship, Situationships do not involve clear labels. Chances are, if you're in a Situationship, you have never had a conversation with your partner regarding whether or not one or both of you are seeing other people.
This type of undefined relationship can lead to uncertainty and insecurity.
Boundaries are Confusing or Unclear
Clear boundaries regarding what is acceptable or unacceptable is a great way to know where you stand with your partner.
For example, is it a boundary for you that your partner is only sleeping with you? If so, these conversations are necessary to gain clarity and peace of mind in a relationship.
There is Uncertainty about the Future
A tell-tale sign that you may be in a situationship is if you or your partner are unclear about the direction of the relationship.
In other words, there needs to be more communication regarding long-term planning or commitments, such as plans to attend a wedding this upcoming summer, meet each other's families, or move in together one day.
Emotional Inconsistency or Detachment
Having a baseline emotional connection is a driving force to keeping a relationship alive and thriving. However, situationships often involve a roller coaster in emotional investment, ranging from high to low from one day to the next.
The emotional inconsistency and detachment involved in situationships can leave us feeling uneasy and make establishing trust in the relationship difficult.
Convenience over Connection
Lastly, there is a strong tendency for individuals in situationships to be involved for convenience.
In situationships, one or both people may await the next best thing. In the meantime, being in the situationship provides a sense of comfort, boosts confidence, or fulfills the need for reliable sex.
That contributes to maintaining a surface-level connection.
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Every Situationship has both good and bad sides.
Considering whether the pros outweigh the cons or vice versa can help determine whether this type of relationship suits you.
Situationship Pros
Situationships have been given a bad reputation. We are here to shed some light on the positive aspects of partaking in a casual relationship.
1. No Responsibility
Having the independence to be involved in a casual fling with someone you're comfortable with can be a low-maintenance way to get your daily dose of intimacy.
Compared to traditional committed relationships, which require significant emotional energy, situationships are simplified to fulfill many of your needs without requiring the same emotional commitment.
2. Flexible Dating
Situationships provide a sense of freedom from the traditional expectations of a relationship. For this reason, they can offer independence to see other people, flirt at a bar, or even have a one-night stand if you feel so inclined.
3. Low Pressure
Psychosexual Therapist and Certified Psych-Sexoligist Kate Moyle [1] mentions that for many individuals, situationships offer a sense of ease, removing the pressure to define a relationship that already meets their needs.
When we feel pressure to take the next step, it may be because we are told to by friends, family, or societal norms. Being a part of a stress-free, low-pressure situationships can be relaxed, comfortable, and incredibly fun.
Situationship Cons
In exploring the drawbacks of situationships, here are three commonly discussed cons.
1. Lack of Clarity and Emotional Ambiguity
As mentioned earlier, one of the many disadvantages of situationships is the absence of boundaries, unclear expectations, and high emotional uncertainty.
Questions that may arise in a situationship range from "What are we?" to "Is this just sex?", and even "Where is this relationship going?".
2. Sexual Health Concerns
Without having the official talk, it can become unclear where you and your situationship partner stand on the topic of casual sex.
For this reason, there is a risk that your partner may be engaging in sexual behaviors, potentially even having unprotected sex with multiple partners. That can be a major health concern as it exposes individuals to the risk of sexually transmitted infections (STIs).
3. Higher Risk of Getting Hurt
More often than not, one person involved is usually in the driver's seat while the other takes a more passive role. One of the main downsides to this is that the individual who is the 'driver' pushes the hypothetical brakes on becoming too emotionally involved.
On the other hand, the individual taking a passive role may yearn for more from the relationship but is hesitant to express their desires for fear of rejection.
Since situationships lack clear communication and defined boundaries, there's a higher likelihood of misunderstandings and unmet needs, ultimately resulting in emotional pain for the passive individual.
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Situationships have many nuances, making them very unclear to navigate. Fortunately, it is possible to navigate them. Here is how.
Find Confort in Communication
Feeling like you do not want to come off as too needy or too clingy is understandable in any new relationship. However, clear communication exudes confidence and helps to showcase your standards in a romantic partnership.
Some helpful communication strategies include:
- Communicating boundaries: being clear on your non-negotiables can set the record straight as to what your expectations are, clarifying what is and is not acceptable behavior
- Defining expectations: expressing well-defined expectations that both individuals understand and are respectful of can provide clarity on what the relationship entails
- Having regular check-ins: Keeping the dialogue open for regular check-ins can help you reassess the relationship, making sure both individuals remain satisfied and fulfilled
Not only does honest and open communication ensure you are on the same page as your partner, it creates a healthy, respectful dynamic of one another.
Become Self-Aware and Self-Reflective
Being aware of when one's needs and desires change within a situationship is an important aspect of being happily engaged in this dynamic.
Continuously check in with yourself and determine if the situationship is no longer serving you – emotionally or physically.
Reflecting on your compatibility and satisfaction with the situationship can help you determine whether it is worth continuing.
Know When to Move On
Relationship and dating expert Dr. Kimberly Mofitt [2] mentions that being single and having fun has many benefits. For instance, engaging in a situationship allows for emotional intimacy, leading to personal growth and development.
That being said, there comes a time when more than a situationship is needed to satisfy our needs.
Knowing when to end a relationship is essential to personal growth and well-being.
Reasons for this decision may include:
- feeling sad or uncertain about the relationship
- desiring more from your partner
- developing feelings for someone else
- or simply experiencing a lack of interest in the current situation
FAQs
What is a situationship?
A situationship is a form of relationship that is more than a friendship yet less than a committed relationship.
It is a relationship without labels of 'boyfriend' and 'girlfriend'.
How do I know I am in a situationship?
Situationships involve intimacy and companionship without commitment, clear boundaries, or well-defined expectations. Unlike romantic relationships, situationships involve a sense of emotional ambiguity and no clear direction for where it is headed.
How to get out of a situationship and into a committed relationship?
Moving from a situation to a serious relationship is only possible using open and honest communication. Expressing your needs and boundaries clearly to your partner and being open to rejection is key to this transition.
What are situationship red flags?
- Limited communication
- Inconsistent behavior
- Undefined boundaries
- Emotional unavailability
- Low accountability/follow-through
- Lack of future planning
How do I end a situationship?
The most respectful approach to concluding a situationship is through open and honest dialogue with your partner. Clearly express your feelings and convey the importance of seeking clarity and validation from future relationships.
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- Situationships are the middle grounds between a casual fling and a committed relationships
- Although situationships are not for everyone, they do bring a sense of freedom, flexibility, and great sex without any of the labels attached
- Without proper communication and self-reflection, they can increase the risk of causing emotional pain and confusion
- When in doubt, talk it out!
Article sources
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1.
Psychosexual Therapist and Certified Psych-Sexoligist Kate Moyle
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2.
Relationship and dating expert Dr. Kimberly Mofitt