How to Last Longer in Bed: 13 Actionable Tips for Men

Are you tired of feeling embarrassed or disappointed because you can't seem to last long enough in bed?

Premature ejaculation is a common problem many men face, and it can be frustrating for both partners.

But don't worry, there are things you can do to improve your stamina and endurance to control your ejaculation release time better.

In this article, we'll explore some tips and techniques to help you last longer in bed if rapid ejaculation is in the way of enjoying a more fulfilling sex life.

From communication and foreplay to physical exercises and cognitive techniques, we'll cover a range of strategies to help you extend your time before ejaculating.

So let's get started and discover how to last longer in bed.

A Brief Explanation of Premature Ejaculation

In medicine, premature ejaculation is a type of male sexual dysfunction where ejaculation happens earlier than a man or their partner wants, resulting in frustration.

According to data from a recent study published in the American Journal of Men's Health, premature ejaculation is the most common male sexual dysfunction, affecting anywhere between 30-50% of the male population.

According to certified sex therapist Laurie Watson [1], a man may experience either lifelong premature ejaculation, which arises during their first sexual encounter and persists for years afterward, or acquired premature ejaculation, which occurs suddenly later in life.

1. Ejaculation happens within 1-2 minutes of penile-vaginal intercourse,
2. A man is unable to delay ejaculation during all (or most) sexual encounters, and
3. Negative personal consequences are involved that cause distress (i.e. sexual performance anxiety, depression, embarrassment, shame, etc.)

No matter how you experience premature ejaculation, we aim in this article to provide practical tips and solutions to help you last longer in bed.

Tip #1

Use Desensitizing Sprays

One of the most significant issues that cause men to ejaculate prematurely is the heightened sensations they experience during penetrative intercourse.

The best way to control this is by desensitizing the penis before sex.

Delay Sprays are a safe and effective desensitizing product that helps treat premature ejaculation. A quality delay spray works by temporarily desensitizing the targeted area of a penis to help prolong sexual activity.

According to a recent study on the effects of Steady Freddy Lidocaine-based pump spray, participants with premature ejaculation demonstrated a significant improvement in ejaculatory control (lasting more than 2 minutes), increased quality of sexual experience, and higher overall sexual satisfaction when using the delay spray.

Climax control condoms are another beneficial product used to help men prolong ejaculation. Though not as effective like delay sprays, desensitizing condoms combine a layer of protection with a topical numbing agent placed inside the condom) to help reduce penile sensation during intercourse.

Tip #2

Strengthen Your Pelvic Floor Muscles

Did you know the pelvic floor muscles play an essential role in sexual function?

As seen in the diagram below, most of our pelvic muscles attach directly to the base of the penis. They can either help or hinder a man's ejaculatory threshold, depending on their strength.

A proven method of pelvic floor muscle rehabilitation is accomplished through kegel exercises. Kegels work to improve erectile function and resolve issues of early ejaculation.

How to do it:

• Identify your pelvic floor muscles by squeezing your pelvic area as if you're trying to stop the flow of urine
• Flex these muscles for 3-5 seconds
• Relax these muscles for 3-5 seconds
• Repeat the kegel exercise 10 times in a row, 3 times per day

Tip #3

Experiment With Edging

Edging is a popular technique among men and women to heighten the pleasure and sensation of an orgasm.

For men looking to last longer in bed, edging can be a helpful way to delay ejaculation.

How to do it:

• Stimulate yourself or have your partner stimulate you to build arousal
• Right before the brink of orgasm, stop all forms of stimulation
• Wait 30 seconds or until you feel the urge to ejaculate passes
• Continue stimulation as per usual
• Repeat this cycle 2-3 times in a single session to build endurance

Tip #4

Learn the Pause-Squeeze Technique

Like edging, the pause-squeeze technique can help you control ejaculation and allow you to continue enjoying the pleasurable sensations of sexual intercourse for longer.

How to do it:

• Begin by stimulating yourself or have your partner stimulate you to build arousal
• Before ejaculating, pause for a moment and squeeze the tip of your penis firmly with your thumb and forefinger where the head joins the shaft
• Squeeze for several seconds or until the urge to climax passes before continuing with any sexual stimulation
• Repeat this technique 2-3 times in a single-sex session

Tip #5

Focus On Foreplay

Shifting the focus off yourself and onto your partner is an excellent way not only to delay ejaculation but deepen your intimate connection and create greater mutual satisfaction in bed.

Foreplay can be an underrated and incredibly pleasurable form of sexual activity that doesn't require much physical stimulation to enjoy.

Sex therapist Vanessa Marin [2] explains that "so many heterosexual pairings overemphasize intercourse, even though it's the activity that places the most pressure on someone with ejaculatory timing issues".

Rather than diving straight into the deep end of penetrative sex, warm up with oral sex, manual stimulation, or a sensual tantric massaging [Link to 'tantric massage' article]. You can even spice things up a notch by trying out a new sex toy, intimacy game, or dirty talk.

Tip #6

Try Different Sex Positions

This one depends on his preferences during sex, as certain positions may be more or less stimulating than others.

As you experience a spike in arousal, take that as a cue to switch things up by experimenting with a new sex position.

Here are some of our favorite positions to help lower sexual excitement.

Spooning

With the man lying behind his partner, the man will enter his partner slowly, angling his slightly up.

This position makes it difficult to perform deep penetration and instead focuses on grinding. Shorter strokes can help target the woman's G-spot and can bring her to orgasm much sooner.

Non-Penetrative Missionary

The non-penetrative missionary position focuses solely on female pleasure.

Similar to how you would assume the regular missionary position (man on top of the woman, facing one another), only instead of penetrating her, you'll rub the back of your erect penis against her vulva and clitoris.

Using a few drops of lubricant, you'll give yourself and your female partner incredible sexual satisfaction without ever having to ejaculate.

Side-to-Side

Laying on your side facing your partner, the man can achieve shallow penetration, which helps delay ejaculation and lead to longer, more pleasurable sex sessions.

The side-to-side position can give you control over the depth of thrusting, meaning that you can limit how much pleasure you're willing to experience. It's also an excellent position for passionate kissing, caressing, and nipple play.

Cowgirl

With the man lying on his back or seated upright, the woman can straddle on top and control the depth and pace of penetration.

The cowgirl position is one of the best for a man to relinquish total penetration control. Remember, it's essential to make sure your partner knows to limit your pleasure while she's riding on top.

Tip #7

Go for Round Two

If the first attempt to delay ejaculation was unsuccessful, don't get discouraged!

Sex and relationship expert Dr. Stephen Snyder [3] suggests going for round two to lower excitement levels and prolong orgasm and pleasure.

Immediately after orgasm, you'll reach a refractory period [Link to 'refractory period' article], which describes the time a man is either physiologically unable to achieve an erection or psychologically disinterested in sex (or both). Spend this time cuddling, talking, or kissing to help increase sexual arousal, hoping to stimulate an erection for the next round of penetrative sex.

If your partner doesn't have the time or energy to go for two rounds, it can be equally effective to masturbate before your next sex session.

Tip #8

Engage in Regular Physical Exercise

Regular exercise is integral to achieving and maintaining a harder, longer-lasting erection.

Since sex is a type of endurance workout, being in better shape can help improve our sexual health and functioning.

For example, cardiovascular exercises such as running, biking, or swimming are all shown to have a positive effect on reducing high blood pressure, improving oxygen transport, and increasing energy and stamina - all of which are advantageous to improving blood flow to the genitals for a healthy erection.

Not to mention, maintaining a toned, fit, and healthy physique can play a beneficial role in improving our mental health by lowering anxiety levels and boosting self-esteem and confidence.

Tip #9

Practice Mindful Meditation

Meditation helps us understand and unpack the emotions attached to premature ejaculation, giving us more control over our sex lives.

Medical professional and healthcare provider Dr. Aimee Paik [4] suggests mindful meditation to build a greater mind-body connection.

How to get started with mindful meditation:

• Start by sitting still in a chair, on a bed, or the floor for 10-15 minutes
• During this time, close your eyes and begin a deep breathing exercise (inhale for 5 seconds, exhale for 3 seconds) as you guide your attention to various areas in your body
• As you do this, ask yourself "what do I feel", "what sensations am I experiencing?", and so on
• Focus on the actual sensations rather than the meaning behind these sensations
• If your mind begins to wander, gently bring it back and focus solely on these sensations

In time, the practice of mindful meditation can help you discover and familiarize yourself with the sensations related to sexual stimulation and potentially help you address your symptoms related to premature ejaculation.

Tip #10

Distract Yourself During Sex

Oftentimes, men who struggle with premature ejaculation allow their thoughts to spin out of control with questions of "am I performing ok?", "Is my partner feeling pleasure?", or of course, the classic mantra of "don't finish, don't finish, don't finish".

That's where the art of distraction comes in.

One study has found that some men have discovered success in distracting their minds from sex to help themselves delay ejaculation. The method is easy. During sex, focus on something non-erotic such as algebra, flying a kite, or eating pasta. Switching your focus can help stop you from becoming overly excited.

Remember, this strategy can cause some men to experience weaker erections or lose them altogether, despite still being sexually aroused.

Tip #11

Incorporate Fun Sex Toys

When we think of 'sex', it's normal to think of a type of penetrative intercourse. However, this is quite limiting - especially for vulva owners!

According to a recent study published in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, researchers found that only 18% of women can achieve an orgasm from vaginal stimulation alone. That means 82% of women need clitoral stimulation to reach their O.

Focusing on our partner's pleasure not only helps them enjoy sex more, but it can redirect your sexual energy to keep you from ejaculating early.

Sex toys offer more opportunities for sexual exploration. Try using a blindfold and handcuffs on your partner. At the same time, you give her oral or play around with a vibrator while performing slow or shallow penetration.

Tip #12

Modify Your Diet

Often, what we consume regularly can either help or hinder our sexual performance — especially for men experiencing premature ejaculation.

Among the beneficial foods men use to last longer in bed, zinc and magnesium-rich options have the best results!

Rather than jumping straight to drug treatment, nutritional therapist Andrea Bartels suggests zinc and magnesium supplementation address sexual dysfunction by increasing testosterone, boosting libido, and even improving prostate function.

You can select either over-the-counter supplements or find these nutrients in whole foods by eating more shellfish (i.e. oysters, crab, mussels, etc.), nuts and seeds, legumes, grains, and yogurt.

Tip #13

Speak to a Sex Therapist

”…most issues that interfere with your intimate life may be resolved when discussed openly.

Sexologist and medical expert Dr. Yuvraj Arora Monga explains that most issues that interfere with your intimate life may be resolved when discussed openly.

Behavioral therapy offers an excellent opportunity for couples and individuals to air their concerns, sources of stress, or anxiety to help resolve premature ejaculation.

Behavioral therapy can help you:

• Discover the root cause of your sexual dysfunction
• Address underlying psychological causes of premature ejaculation (i.e. stress, sexual performance anxiety, self-esteem or confidence issues, etc.)
• Offer techniques and personalized exercises that can help you "unlearn" habits of premature ejaculation to prolong pleasure in the bedroom

Another beneficial option to consider is couples counseling.

During these sessions, you and your partner will be encouraged to explore issues as a couple to discover and resolve what may be discouraging intimacy in the bedroom.