7 Tips on How to Prepare for Anal Sex

Whether or not you've had a bit of experience with butt play, either from sex toys or casual fingering, exploring full-on anal penetration can feel a bit daunting.

Read on as we explore some of the tips, techniques, and expert advice to help you prepare for anal sex.

What is Anal Sex?

Other kinds of anal sex include touching, pegging, caressing, licking, or kissing the anus with a combination of the hands, fingers, tongue, and mouth.

Anal sex generally refers to the penetration of one person's penis into another person's anus.

During penetrative anal sex, one person will be the "giving" or "penetrative" partner and the other will be the "receiving" partner. Of course, this can switch both during sex or within a relationship as couples explore their roles, sexual interests, and desires in the bedroom.

Other kinds of anal sex include touching, pegging, caressing, licking, or kissing the anus with a combination of the hands, fingers, tongue, and mouth.

Many nerve endings surround the outside of the anus. So, exploring outercourse can be especially stimulating for the receiving partner.

How to Prepare for Anal Sex

While many men and women enjoy anal sex, something still taboo about the act keeps people from exploring this type of pleasure.

A few tips help prepare your mind and body to maximize sexual comfort and enjoyment.

Read on for a comprehensive guide on preparing for anal sex.

1. Communicate with your partner

Communication is also essential when introducing new sex toys, different types of lube, or even switching up to a new anal sex position.

It's no question that anal sex can be stressful — especially if it's your first time!

As with all things sex and intimacy, communicating your needs, desires, and boundaries is essential to enhance pleasure and safety.

Rather than diving head first into anal sex, it's important to open up a healthy line of communication with your partner so that you're both on the same page about anal play.

Some helpful topic points include discussing the type of act sex act that you're willing and open to trying, such as analingus, fingers, sex toys, or penetration, what kind of speed, depth, and intensity the receiving partner desires, and of course,any activities that are entirely off limits.

It's best to avoid relying on your partner's non-verbal cues and instead check in with them throughout the course of exploration. As you ease into things, you can ask questions like "How does this feel?" or "Do you prefer more or less pressure?".

Communication is also essential when introducing new sex toys, different types of lube, or even switching up to a new anal sex position.

Remember that anal sex is more comfortable when you're honest with yourself. You can always slow down, switch it up, or stop anytime.

2. Train your body by experimenting on yourself first

With one finger and a bit of lube, slide your finger inside and breathe into it, allowing your anal muscle to relax.

Before you know how to explain to your partner what feels good for you, you must first explore for yourself.

If you've never tried receiving anal sex before, this step is beneficial.

At first, it's very typical to feel tense. Training your body to relax can help open up the anal sphincter, making it easier and more enjoyable to receive pleasure.

Start small by training your body with slow and progressive anal masturbation techniques.

With one finger and a bit of lube, slide your finger inside and breathe into it, allowing your anal muscle to relax.

Eventually, you can try a butt plug before progressing to a larger sex toy or penis.

Sex educator Dr. Jill Mcdevitt suggests these types of anal masturbation to help boost confidence and learn what kinds of stimulation feel best for you.

There is also such a thing as an "anal training kit" that gives you several butt plugs in increasing sizes!

3. Get clean to feel confident

Douching involves using clean water to flush out the anal canal of any waste.

Hygiene is an essential part of a healthy sex life. Of course, with anal sex, there is added pressure of feeling a little "dirtier" than usual.

Fortunately, there are many ways to help you feel clean and hygienic in preparation for anal sex.

The first thing to remember is that everyone poops. Though we can all clean and care for our anus to the best of our ability, a small amount of fecal matter during sex is not a big deal.

Anal Hygiene

Some good basic anal hygiene can help you focus more on feeling confident and comfortable and less on potential cleanup.

Before sex, having a hot shower and paying close attention to the outside of the anus is helpful.

Next, an anal douche can help clean out the inside of the anus before butt sex. Douching involves using clean water to flush out the anal canal of any waste.

4. Get a quality lube for silky smooth comfort

Among the many types of lube available, silicone lube is typically the best for anal play.

Unlike the vagina, the anus is not naturally self-lubricating. Without proper lubrication, anal penetration is likely to result in anal fissures or tears to the tissue in the anus.

Board-certified ob-gyn Dr. Jacques Moritz explains that this is painful and may increase your susceptibility to sexually transmitted infections such as HIV or gonorrhea.

For this reason, it's essential to have a quality lubricant handy to prepare for anal sex.

Among the many types of lube available, silicone lube is typically the best for anal play. Long-lasting lube is key since the anus is porous and can absorb moisture quickly. Unlike water-based lubes, silicone lubes don't tend to dry out or wash off as quickly, which makes them more favorable to exploring anal sex with ease.

However, if you plan to use lube with silicone toys, it's better to opt for a water-based option since silicone lubes may break down the outer surface of these toys.

Oil lubes are another great, long-lasting option as well. Though oil lubes are compatible with silicone anal toys and butt plugs, oil lubes are not effective with latex condoms.

5. Start with anal foreplay

You can start by gently inserting a lubricated finger into your partner's anus slowly as you kiss and caress their body.

Did you know that there is such a thing as anal foreplay!?

Like regular foreplay, anal foreplay helps to enhance feelings of connection, relaxation, and sexual enjoyment.

As a helpful way to "warm up" before penetration, anal foreplay involves a combination of the hands, tongue, mouth, and toys to stimulate the anus to enhance pleasure and prepare the body for a new sex act.

You can start by gently inserting a lubricated finger into your partner's anus slowly as you kiss and caress their body. As you go deeper, penetrate your finger in and out in a slow and controlled pattern.

Other ways to practice anal foreplay include using new sex toys like:

• anal beads
• vibrator
• exploring different positions where the receiving partner can relax
• combining rimming with clitoral stimulation.

6. Find a comfortable position that works for everyone

A position that focuses more on pleasure during penetration is doggy style.

Similar to regular vaginal sex, anal sex typically refers to the receiving partner as the "bottom" and the giving or penetrating partner as the "top".

As many other couples have realized, many different anal sex positions are just as pleasurable, if not more!

For beginners, we recommend using a position that helps give the receiving partner more control of the penetration depth, speed, and intensity. A great example of this is the cowgirl position.

A position that focuses more on pleasure during penetration is doggy style. Though the penetrating partner is in control, this position allows for a better insertion angle with increased anal stimulation.

Another anal sex position we recommend is side-by-side spooning. In this relaxed position, the penetrating partner can slowly insert their penis or a sex toy into their partner's anal opening and engage in more connected, sensational sex.

7. Never switch between vaginal sex and anal sex

While your anal hygiene practices might be exceptional, it's important to note that the anus still contains bacteria that should never be introduced into the vaginal area.

Above all else, the golden rule to remember while preparing for anal sex is to never, under any circumstances, switch between vaginal and anal penetration.

While your anal hygiene practices might be exceptional, it's important to note that the anus still contains bacteria that should never be introduced into the vaginal area. Doing so could elevate the likelihood of various infections, such as yeast infections and urinary tract infections, among others.

If you choose to switch from anal play to vaginal penetration. In that case, it's important to take the time to wash yourself and your partner in the shower with mild soap and water.

That includes fingers, toys, the penis, or another device that was used for any butt stuff.

The Steady Freddy Team

We create this content to help couples and individuals better understand sexual wellness, with a focus on premature ejaculation, one of the most common male sexual dysfunctions. To address this issue, we've developed a medically formulated delay spray designed to help men last longer and perform better during sex. Learn how to use delay spray to maximize its effectiveness. Our articles are thoroughly researched, backed by data and studies, and medically reviewed for accuracy to provide reliable and insightful information.