Oral sex is the erotic doorway to new levels of intimacy. Both men and women alike crave the physical exploration that it can bring.
Among all the different ways we can please our partners, blow jobs have a spicy reputation for being equally passionate as they are orgasmic.
The question is, what does it even mean to give a good bow job?
This guide is here to help you learn everything you need to know about giving head.
In this article:
Note: Read the whole article or scroll down to the KEY TAKEAWAYS section at the end of this article for a short summary.
What's a Blow Job and Why Do Men Love It?
Depending on the technique, blow jobs have a way of amplifying a sexual experience.
Known by many as giving head, a blow job is a sexual act that involves the use of the mouth to massage the penis.
Depending on the technique, blow jobs have a way of amplifying a sexual experience. As a method of foreplay, blow jobs can create intense pleasure by stimulating the nerve endings in a man's most sensitive erogenous zone: their penis.
No matter if you take it slow and sensual or work your way up to more intense deep-throating, most guys can agree that blow jobs are incredibly titillating.
According to certified sex therapist Kimberly Resnick Anderson, blow jobs have the power to promote higher levels of trust and intimacy in the bedroom despite not having much face-to-face contact.
ALSO READ: Missionary Sex Position With 10 Creative VariationsThe Ultimate Guide to Giving a Blow Job
Once he's practically begging for more, it's time to get down to business.
Like many forms of oral sex, there is no perfect blow job technique. That being said, there are several things you can do to improve your mental game.
From beginning to end, here are the top 7 expert-recommended tips for how to give the ultimate blow job.
1. Set the Mood
For you and your partner to thoroughly enjoy oral sex, it helps to start with a bit of teasing, seduction, and foreplay.
Start by giving your partner a sexy massage, rubbing some lubricant on their body, trying out dirty talk, or playing around with a hand job.
Not only can this help rev up the engine for your partner, but it can also put you in the right head space to give the best blow job.
ALSO READ: How to Go Down on a Girl With Confidence2. Start with Your Tongue
Once he's practically begging for more, it's time to get down to business.
Start with your tongue to tease his penis. Circle his penis head with your tongue, warming him up before moving in further with your mouth. You can also use your tongue to trace up the shaft of his erect penis, sort of like licking an ice cream cone.
ALSO READ: Find Your Best Doggy Style Position Variation (With Pics)3. Slow and Sensual
The number one trick to giving oral sex is pacing yourself, building tension, and stimulating arousal slowly and passionately.
After lightly licking his penis, you can begin slowly taking in his penis deeper and deeper into your mouth. Moisten your lips and begin to move up and down on his penis, lowering your head slowly and sensually.
You can play around with this technique slightly by sucking at the head of his penis with your lips, using your tongue to lick the tip.
As you relax into this movement, you can attempt deep throating by opening up your throat and relaxing the muscles in and around your mouth.
Remember that this technique may trigger a gag reflex, which is normal! Desensitizing your gag reflex takes time and practice.
ALSO READ: 5 Tips on How to Make a Woman Orgasm (with pics)4. Make Eye Contact
Eye contact is a surefire way to turn a good blow job into a great one!
As you're moving up and down the shaft of your partner's penis, don't be afraid to look up every once in a while. Many men consider this to be incredibly seductive and a significant turn-on.
ALSO READ: How to Last Longer in Bed: 13 Actionable Tips for Men5. Get a Little Sloppy
When it comes to blowjobs, wetter is better!
Since the penis is not self-lubricating, it's helpful to consider ways to make him a little extra wet to help you ease into a great blow job.
You may notice while you perform more of a deep throat technique, your salivary glands will be working in overdrive to give you more spit during the blow job.
However, if you struggle with dry mouth no matter how deep you go, a tasty lubricant or blow job gel will surely help.
ALSO READ: 14 Essential Sex Tips for Men to Enhance Intimacy and Her Satisfaction6. Use Your Hands
Despite being categorized as 'oral sex', a blow job does not have to be a mouth-only activity. The best blow jobs often include using a hand or even a finger to level up his pleasure.
As you get comfortable using your mouth and tongue, use a hand to grip the base of your partner's shaft, sliding it up and down in harmony with the movement of your mouth.
Taking it a step further, you can use the index finger of your dominant hand to apply pressure to his perineum (located between his scrotum and anus). Giving this super-sensitive area a gentle massage can be incredibly pleasurable for a man.
Keep in mind that specific sexual preferences are not for everyone, so it's best to have a conversation about it in advance.
ALSO READ: How to Edge: A Technique for Lasting Longer & Improving Premature Ejaculation7. Speed It Up
Bringing together all the techniques described earlier, you'll arrive at the final stretch of pleasure.
Using his body language, breathing rate, and moaning as a cue to push further, introducing more speed and intensity to a blow job can bring your man to the brink of orgasm much faster.
Consider incorporating some edging before pushing him past the finish line.
Edging can be a powerful tool if your man struggles with early ejaculation [Link to 'A solution to help men with PE' article]. As you notice him begin to shift around or moan a little louder, pull back on your speed and intensity and take a moment to lick and kiss instead or lightly suck the very tip of his penis.
This technique can be intense for any man, making them beg for you to go deeper and faster.
ALSO READ: How to Make a Woman Squirt (in 3 Steps)FAQs
Should I be using my hands?
Absolutely! Hands are a great accessory to heighten sensation for the man during a blow job. Use a hand to lightly grasp the balls or use a finger to add pressure to his perineum.
How do I know when he's close to finishing?
When he is on the brink of climaxing, you may notice him shifting around, breathing heavier, or possibly moaning. You may also be able to see his penis getting stiffer when he is about to finish.
ALSO READ: What's your best sex position? Let's find out.KEY TAKEAWAYS
- Learning new oral sex skills is a great way to connect with your partner, grow trust and intimacy, and introduce more passion into the relationship
- Among the different sex acts, blow jobs are an excellent way to intensify a man's sexual experience
- No matter if you're brand new to blow jobs or want to elevate your head game, these tips can get you there
- Remember to explore together as a couple, discuss personal preferences and boundaries before diving into something new, and prioritize comfort