7 Tips on How to Go Down on a Girl With Confidence

Going down on a woman can be an incredibly passionate and wonderful experience. Of course, vulvas and vaginas can be tricky to navigate – especially since most women are unique in their sexual preferences and desires in the bedroom.

However, with the right technique, a little patience, and a willingness to explore, anyone is capable of giving their partner a mind-blowing and orgasmic sexual experience.

Read on as we explore some of the top 7 tips on how to go down on a girl with confidence.

1. Take time to understand the female anatomy

The clitoris is the golden ticket to the female orgasm.

For the most part, the female anatomy is a mystery. Whether or not you took anatomy in school, it's essential to take the time to understand the ins and outs of a woman's working parts, even as adults.

Besides, how else are we supposed to pleasure our partners without knowing what areas give them the most pleasure?

Here's a quick breakdown of the most important areas of the female anatomy.

The Vulva

The vulva is the outer-most part of the female genitals that consists of the labia, clitoris, vaginal opening, and urethra opening. Although no two vulvas look the same, it's possible to understand the parts when you know what you're looking for.

Starting from the labia, which are the two skin folds that surround the vagina, this area is split into both an outer (labia majora) and inner (labia minora) layer.

The labia starts at the clitoris and ends under the vaginal opening and may be sensitive to the touch during times of sexual arousal.

The Clitoris

The clitoris is the golden ticket to the female orgasm. Located on the top of the vulva, the clit contains an astounding 8,000 nerve endings, which, when stimulated, can produce the most pleasurable sensations.

When aroused, the clit will become engorged and swollen, causing it to pull back the clitoral hood to make it more accessible.

The Vagina

The vagina is a long opening located on the inside of a woman's body. When a woman is aroused, the vagina receives a rush of blood to the area, causing the vulva and clit to swell and the vagina to self-lubricate or "get wet". Vaginal lubrication helps make penetration more comfortable and pleasurable.

Within the vaginal opening is a small area known as the "G-spot", which is a sexually sensitive location that swells during arousal. Though not all women can climax from g-spot stimulation alone, it's a great spot to stimulate in combination with oral

2. Set the scene to increase comfort and arousal

Consider lighting a few candles, throwing on a sexy playlist, or setting up the bed for a blissfully relaxing scene filled with cozy pillows and blankets.

According to clinical sexologists, many women struggle to let someone go down on them because they are preoccupied with thinking about other things.

A comfortable, relaxed woman is far more likely to climax than one who is feeling nervous, rushed, or stressed while receiving oral. That's why it's beneficial to set the scene and make her feel calm and even excited to explore this sexual experience.

Consider lighting a few candles, throwing on a sexy playlist, or setting up the bed for a blissfully relaxing scene filled with cozy pillows and blankets.

Next, it's important to show her that you're willing to give her the time it takes to climax. Minimizing stress for a woman to orgasm quickly and allowing her to immerse herself into the oral sex experience without expectations can be an extraordinary turn-on.

3. Tease her before diving in

Before diving straight to clitoral stimulation, pull away for a few moments to focus on her vulva, slowly licking around her labia from top to bottom.

According to certified sex expert Dr. Jessica O'Reilly, most women take an average of 10-20 minutes to reach orgasm. Rather than speeding things up to get her there faster (which never really works anyways), it's important to slow things down to help drive up anticipation and sexual desire.

The best way to do this is by teasing her during foreplay.

There are a ton of different erogenous zones that you can explore that are all outside of the genital area. Since every woman is different, so is their sensitivity to pleasure. For this reason, it's helpful to communicate with your partner before engaging in exploration. Some popular areas that many women want you to focus on include the lips, ears, neck, collarbone, breasts, lower belly, and inner thighs.

Kissing is a very sensual way to drive up desire. Start by kissing her mouth and slowly making your way down her torso from her neck to her legs. Tension will begin to build as you kiss and lick her inner thighs, working your way in and up.

Before diving straight to clitoral stimulation, pull away for a few moments to focus on her vulva, slowly licking around her labia from top to bottom.

4. Find a rhythm in your tongue movements

You can also try using the tip of the tongue to add pressure or flattening your tongue to increase surface area – both are likely to increase sexual satisfaction.

If you're going to blow her mind, clitoral stimulation is the most effective skill to have.

After setting the scene and building anticipation, it's time to dive into the goods and how to perform cunnilingus.

Though oral sex is often performed using all the parts of the mouth, the majority of the time is spent using the tongue to stimulate the clit.

Here are some of the top movements to try:

• Up and down
• Circular motion
• Side-to-side
• Pulsating
• Figure eight ABC's

Once the tension is built up and you've narrowed your focus onto her clitoris, it's important to stay in one spot and try switching through these different tongue patterns until you find a comfortable rhythm. You can also try using the tip of the tongue to add pressure or flattening your tongue to increase surface area – both are likely to increase sexual satisfaction.

As she is approaching orgasm, be sure to avoid getting more or less intense. When you switch things up, it can cause her to lose focus and momentum. Continue doing what you're doing!

To help protect both you and your partner from spreading STIs through vaginal fluids or saliva, it may be helpful to consider using a dental dam. Dental dams help to cover the vulva (and clitoris) to make oral safer and more enjoyable for everyone.

5. Recognize her body language

Learn to pay attention to subtle twitches of their limbs, noises such as moaning, or other signals like perspiration, flushed skin, or vaginal wetness. 

Taking the time to listen and acknowledge your partner's body language can go a long way. Paying close attention to how your current partner moves their body in response to your tongue action, how their breathing rate gets a bit more rapid, and if they begin to grip the sheets or curl their toes can tell you that you're doing something right!

Learn to pay attention to subtle twitches of their limbs, noises such as moaning, or other signals like perspiration, flushed skin, or vaginal wetness. Being responsive to these signals allows you to switch up your technique to help give your partner the most orgasmic oral experience.

When in doubt, don't be afraid to speak up! Often, specific body cues can go unnoticed – especially if your partner is less noticeable when they experience pleasure. Ask her, "Does what I'm doing feel good?" or "Do you want more or less intensity?".

6. Use your hands to elevate her sexual pleasure

Keep in mind that while most women's vaginas are self-lubricating, many sex experts recommend coming prepared with a bit of lube to help make the experience more smooth and enjoyable.

As you're going down on your partner, it can be tremendously stimulating to insert a finger or two into their vagina and begin exploring their g-spot.

Keep in mind that while most women's vaginas are self-lubricating, many sex experts recommend coming prepared with a bit of lube to help make the experience more smooth and enjoyable.

Add a couple of drops of lube to your hands and rub them together to warm up the lubricant. With your tongue on her clit, slowly slide one or two fingers into your partner's vagina.

To stimulate her g-spot, make sure your palm is facing up and begin to curl your finger in the "come hither" motion. Find a rhythm in the movement of your tongue with your finger to give her a more intense sensation of pleasure.

7. Explore new positions to boost sensations

Sex therapists recommend face sitting as a pleasurable way to receive oral

As mentioned earlier, the most important factor when it comes to successfully giving your partner an orgasm is her comfort. When it comes to receiving head, many women's default position is to lay flat on their back.

Though this position allows women to get comfortable, many other amazing positions can tip her over the edge!

Sex therapists recommend face sitting as a pleasurable way to receive oral.

To get into this position, the giving partner will lie on their back on a comfortable surface while the receiving partner will straddle their face in a kneeling position, facing away from their feet. This position is especially satisfying for vulva owners since it puts them in control of changing the rhythm, pressure, and speed of the cunnilingus.

FAQs

What is cunnilingus?

Cunnilingus is a fancy word used to describe the stimulation of the female genitals using the tongue or lips.

Do all women enjoy oral sex?

Like any other sexual act, not all women enjoy the same thing. For the women who do like to receive oral sex, some prefer to have a slow and sensual build-up to help relax the mind and enhance anticipation while others desire a more intense combination of fingering with lube, sex toys, and rhythmic clit pressure.

Is it possible to make a woman orgasm with clitoral stimulation alone?

Absolutely! Similar to how sexual intercourse is the “main event” in helping stimulate an orgasm in men, clitoral stimulation is oftentimes a must-have for women!

The Steady Freddy Team

We create this content to help couples and individuals better understand sexual wellness, with a focus on premature ejaculation, one of the most common male sexual dysfunctions. To address this issue, we've developed a medically formulated delay spray designed to help men last longer and perform better during sex. Learn how to use delay spray to maximize its effectiveness. Our articles are thoroughly researched, backed by data and studies, and medically reviewed for accuracy to provide reliable and insightful information.