Examining the aspects that contribute to unsatisfying sexual experiences.
10 Causes of bad sex and how to fix It.

Are you unsatisfied with your sex life and are looking for tips to help make it better?

Luckily, many ways exist to end bad sex without walking away from your relationship.

Whether you've hit a dry spell in your sex life or are looking to spice things up in your long-term relationship, we've got you covered.

Here are 10 reasons why you may be having bad sex and what you can do to fix it!

Note: Read the whole article or scroll down to the KEY TAKEAWAYS section at the end of this article for a short summary.

1. Bad Hygiene = Bad Sex (almost always)

Bad hygiene will almost always harm sexual experiences.

Taking care of your hygiene demonstrates that you value yourself and your partner.

Having good hygiene habits is vital for physical and emotional attraction.

Good hygiene

Good personal hygiene, like regular bathing, clean clothes, or fresh breath, will make you more confident and attractive to your partner.

It will also boost your confidence and help you feel more comfortable and desirable during intimate moments.

Poor Hygiene

Poor hygiene can lead to unpleasant body odors, greasy or dirty skin, and bad breath, which can be off-putting to your partner.

Feeling clean and fresh can enhance comfort and intimacy during sexual encounters.

Health and Safety

Moreover, maintaining good hygiene can help prevent the spreading infections and diseases, including sexually transmitted infections (STIs).

Regularly washing your genitals and using protection (such as condoms) can reduce the risk of transmitting or acquiring infections during sexual activity.

Suppose you're concerned about your partner's hygiene. In that case, it's best to have an open and honest conversation rather than make them feel judged or embarrassed.

ALSO READ: Sex Positions to Help Men Last Longer

2. You're Not Prioritizing Your Physical Health

It's common for people to undervalue the importance of their physical health when it comes to their sexual performance.

The reality is that not maintaining adequate physical health can be a significant cause of bad sex.

Sex therapist Dr. Debra Laino [1] notes that poor lifestyle choices directly connect with sexual desire and arousal.

Regular exercise and healthy eating can help improve blood flow to the penis, strengthen the pelvic floor muscles, and boost feel-good endorphins. Together, these benefits contribute to longer-lasting, more pleasurable sex -- not to mention more mind-blowing orgasms.

ALSO READ: 14 Essential Sex Tips for Men to Enhance Intimacy and Her Satisfaction

3. Neglecting to Change It Up

It's common to slip into a comfortable routine, especially when you've been having sex with your partner for years.

It's important to remember that sex should continue to be fun and adventurous, no matter your age!

Having good sex involves exploring new positions, varying speeds of penetration, and maybe even a sex toy or two. Be creative to explore more ways to pleasure your partner outside of your regular sex repertoire.

From watching porn together to acting out a fantasy or having a quickie before work, there are so many new things you can try in bed that will help you and your partner enjoy sex a lot more.

ALSO READ: Find Your Best Doggy Style Position Variation (With Pics)

4. Not Enough Communication

If you're having bad sex, there's a good chance you may not be on the same page as your partner in the bedroom.

According to sex and relationship expert Vanessa Marin [2], long-term partners don't tend to talk about sex as frequently as they may have in the early stages of their relationship.

As your relationship progresses through the years, so do your sexual desires.

Start the conversation openly and honestly, avoiding any criticism or blame-focused language (i.e. "always" or "never"). Tell your partner what you like while continually validating them along the way.

You can also focus on open-ended questions to better understand your partner's thoughts.

Here are a few simple questions to get the ball rolling:

  • "What's something you want to try?"
  • "What body parts turn you on the most?"
  • "What scares or intimidates you about sex?"
  • "Are there certain foreplay techniques you prefer?"
ALSO READ: Sex Tips for Women: 15 Handy Tips on How to Be Better in Bed

5. You're Finishing Too Fast

Orgasming too early is a common cause of bad sex for many couples.

Premature ejaculation is one of the main reasons why sex ends early for men. Since plenty of men want to satisfy their partners the best they can, an early orgasm can stop these plans quickly.

It's essential to remember that even though you've finished, it doesn't mean you're a selfish lover or that pleasure must come to an immediate halt. Instead, many ways exist to satisfy your partner even after ejaculation, such as oral sex, manual stimulation, or vibrators.

We recommend trying the Steady Freddy delay spray to last longer in bed. With a few quick sprays, you'll be ready to experience longer-lasting sex while using a medically developed solution to help with premature ejaculation.

ALSO READ: What to Drink to Last Longer in Bed

6. You're Having Sex on a Schedule

The difference between good sex and great sex begins with spontaneity.

Making pleasure a pre-planned routine certainly has its advantage. However, enjoying sex when you least expect it can spark the fire in your relationship and open the doors to wilder, more passionate sex.

Not only will spontaneous sex drive up anticipation, but many women often experience a confidence boost from feeling wanted or desired by their partner.

ALSO READ: Home Remedies for Premature Ejaculation

7. Feelings of Stress and Anxiety

Stress and anxiety are major culprits of bad sex.

When our head isn't feeling great, it becomes nearly impossible to get our bodies in the mood for sex.

Sex therapist Emma Schmidt explains that stress and anxiety are both major psychological causes of sexual dysfunctions in men and can greatly affect one's sexual experience, including the likelihood of getting aroused, maintaining an erection, or even orgasm.

When real-life issues get in the way of enjoying sex with your partner, it may be time to take a step back to address your symptoms at their source.

A few reasons why men struggle with stress or anxiety include:

  • Financial troubles (i.e. job loss)
  • Relationship problems (i.e. divorce, breakup, conflict, etc.)
  • Major life transitions (i.e. moving away or switching careers)
  • Feelings of inadequacy or having low self-esteem
ALSO READ: How to Make a Woman Squirt (in 3 Steps)

8. There Is No Emotional Connection

When it comes to having good sex, the emotional connection may be more important than you think.

Emotional intimacy refers to sharing feelings in a vulnerable setting without fear of judgment. On the other hand, sexual intimacy describes the physical connection two people share when they're together.

Often, emotional intimacy bolsters sexual intimacy by creating the foundation for a safe and comfortable intimate experience.

Whether you're involved in a new relationship or have been married to your person for years, growing an emotional connection is always possible.

Here are a few helpful tips to improve your emotional connection:

  • Be vulnerable to earn their trust
  • Give your partner authentic affirmations and compliments
  • Prioritize their sexual satisfaction
  • Show affection (both inside and outside of the bedroom)
  • Break out of routine and surprise them
ALSO READ: How to Get Harder: 7 Handy Erection Tips for Men

9. You're Comparing Your Current Partner to Past Sexual Partners

Bad sex is frequently rooted in comparisons.

Sex therapist Dr. Janet Brito [3] explains that comparison tends to create "unnecessary insecurities and resentment" within a relationship.

The important thing to remember is that every woman is unique in their sexual desires and fantasies.

Great lovers will learn to adjust their style and sexual energy in a way that will please the woman sitting before them.

Try to recognize specific non-verbal cues during sex, indulge in new or exciting acts of sexual activity, and explore different fantasies together.

ALSO READ: Blue Balls: What It Is Plus 5 Methods How to Get Rid of It

10. Not Enough Foreplay

Foreplay is an essential part of sex that often gets overlooked.
Thanks to the existence of the orgasm gap, the majority of heterosexual women are less likely to reach climax during sex alone.

The best way to close this gap and enhance your and your partner's sexual experience is by incorporating more foreplay.

According to the Journal of Sex Research, longer foreplay helps both men and women experience more pleasure when they climax due to a greater buildup of arousal and desire beforehand.

A good lover knows how to satisfy his partner, leading her to the brink of orgasm with foreplay.

Here are some ways to do this:

  • Build up anticipation with dirty talk
  • Experiment with temperature play
  • Use blindfolds in the bedroom
  • Role-play a sexy fantasy
  • Set the mood with a massage
ALSO READ: What's your best sex position? Let's find out.


  • We have all experienced bad sex at some point in our lives
  • Your hygiene demonstrates that you value yourself and your partner
  • Whether you've had fast sex due to premature ejaculation or unsatisfying sex due to stress, there are plenty of ways to address these issues to get the most out of your sex life
  • For most women, good sex begins with open communication, trust, and a lot more foreplay
  • Remember, sex should never feel like a chore. Explore new positions, discover new sensations, and continue to maintain communication as your relationship progresses
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Article sources

  1. 1.
    Sex therapist Dr. Deb Laino https://www.yoursexdoc.com/welcome
  2. 2.
    Sex and relationship expert Vanessa Marin https://vmtherapy.com
  3. 3.
    Sex therapist Emma Schmidt https://www.emma-schmidt.com

Medical Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and is not intended to give medical advice or substitute for the medical advice of a physician.

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