Masturbation is a normal and healthy part of human sexuality.
Though masturbation has its benefits, it can also negatively impact you when it interferes with your everyday activities.
In this article, we'll look into ways to help you gain more control over your masturbation habits to end the cycle of compulsive sexual behaviors.
In this article:
Note: Read the whole article or scroll down to the KEY TAKEAWAYS section at the end of this article for a short summary.
Do You Have a Masturbation Problem?
Compulsive masturbation happens when you plan your day around when you can have alone time to masturbate.
Masturbation is a very normal part of our sexual health. As a feel-good way to release tension, experience self-pleasure, and explore our sexuality, masturbation is a common sexual behavior that both men and women enjoy from time to time.
However, problems can arise if your masturbation habits dominate your everyday life. In this case, you may be dealing with compulsive masturbation, a sexual addiction that can negatively impact your mental health.
Compulsive masturbation happens when you:
- Have an uncontrollable urge to masturbate
- Skip your daily activities, planned events, work, or school to masturbate
- Plan your day around when you can have alone time to masturbate
- Use masturbation as a tool to regulate your mood (i.e. when you're feeling sad, frustrated, or angry)
Common Side Effects of Excessive Masturbation
Though not every person is the same when experiencing compulsive sexual behaviors, specific side effects are more indicative of this problem.
Excessive masturbation, also known as compulsive or chronic masturbation, can cause various side effects – from physical discomfort to social distress and even some potential mental health issues.
Though not every person is the same when experiencing compulsive sexual behaviors, specific side effects are more indicative of this problem.
These include:
- Skin irritation
- Genital swelling
- Social isolation
- Lowered self-esteem
- Stress, anxiety, depression, or other mental health conditions
- Inability to connect romantically with a sexual partner
- Failure to complete necessary daily tasks
- Disinterest or disengagement in previously enjoyable activities
- Feelings of shame or guilt toward sexual behaviors
- Possible development of a masturbation addiction
How to Stop Masturbating
Often, porn is a natural trigger that causes us to want to masturbate even if we are not in the mood or mindset to engage in this sexual behavior.
If your masturbation habits are spinning out of control, we've got you covered.
Here are 7 effective tips for managing compulsive sexual behaviors to help you stop masturbating.
1. Stop Watching Porn
The first step towards recovering from compulsive masturbation is to stop watching pornography.
Often, porn is a natural trigger that causes us to want to masturbate even if we are not in the mood or mindset to engage in this sexual behavior.
Sex expert and clinical psychologist Dr. Nazanin Moali mentions that porn uses visual stimuli that activates our "reward pathway" in the brain. Compared to our sexual fantasies, this immediate stimulation encourages the need for sexual pleasure at a greater intensity.
If you're worried that you won't be able to resist the temptation, try using porn-blocking software to block and filter any explicit images or links that contain pornographic content on your phone or computer.
ALSO READ: How To Stop Watching Porn: 9 Effective Ways to Stop a Porn Addiction2. Fill the Void
When we decide to "quit" one habit, it's important to create new habits in their place.
By filling the void in a positive, productive manner, we can focus our energy on other activities making us less likely to fall back into our old patterns.
One of the most beneficial activities that is used to fill the void of masturbation is exercise!
Engaging in regular exercise has both physical and mental health benefits. Similar to masturbation, exercise helps to stimulate the release of feel-good endorphins that help to elevate our mood and calm our mind and body.
The next time you experience intense sexual urges to masturbate, try getting outside for a walk, lifting weights at the gym, or engaging in recreational sports with friends.
ALSO READ: How to Get Harder: 7 Handy Erection Tips for Men3. Remain Present in Your Personal Relationships
Though masturbation is a normal and natural part of our sexual health and well-being, it becomes a problem when it causes us to cancel plans with friends, reschedule events, and even avoid sexual activity altogether.
Clinical psychologist and sex expert Dr. Jenny Taitz mentions that although most people masturbate, it's important to notice a negative pattern in this sexual behavior, such as avoiding physical intimacy or emotional connection to others.
Prioritizing your friends, family, and romantic partner is crucial to resolving compulsive masturbation. By investing more energy into healthier relationships with others, we are less likely to resort to masturbation due to boredom, stress, or loneliness.
ALSO READ: 14 Essential Sex Tips for Men to Enhance Intimacy and Her Satisfaction4. Take One Small Step at a Time
Taking smaller steps can lead to greater success when quitting or modifying habits.
Every small positive change you make can help build confidence and fuel motivation, keeping you on track to abstain from masturbating.
For example, rather than attempting to quit masturbating forever, try prolonging it to a specific time at the end of the day. Next, you can build from this by trying to go one day at a time without masturbating until, eventually, you can last an entire week.
After accomplishing each milestone, you'll create a valuable new habit to help you achieve your primary goal of stopping compulsive masturbation.
ALSO READ: What to Drink to Last Longer in Bed5. Limit Alone Time
It's important to limit the amount of time you spend alone to help you stay focused on stopping masturbation.
Since masturbation is a self-gratifying behavior exercised in the comfort and privacy of our own homes, too much alone time can create more opportunities to masturbate.
Let your friends know you'd like to hang out after work, visit a family member, or take up a new hobby – whatever you need to do to distract your mind from the compulsive thoughts or behaviors of masturbation.
ALSO READ: How to Last Longer in Bed: 13 Actionable Tips for Men6. Be Kind to Yourself
When we quit a habit or try to modify behavior out of our control, it's normal to feel guilty, frustrated, or shameful over setbacks. The problem is that the guilt caused by these perceived "failures" often perpetuates the trigger cycle to continue.
Practicing self-compassion is essential to our mental health in creating long-lasting positive change. In recognizing that progress is never linear, allow yourself to continue moving forward even after a significant setback.
ALSO READ: Sex Positions to Help Men Last Longer7. Be Willing to Ask For Help
When we lose control over our thoughts or behaviors, holding ourselves accountable for the change we want can be challenging.
Being willing to ask for help when you need is a positive step toward recovering from out-of-control sexual behavior.
Seeking guidance and support from your doctor or other related wellness professionals can help to identify sexual cue reactivity to masturbation, develop strategies to modify your sexual behavior, and keep you on the right path through the highs and the lows.
In terms of therapy, both cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and acceptance and commitment therapy are shown to be helpful as treatments for compulsive masturbation.
For those who prefer privacy, many online support groups are available to help individuals express themselves, relate to similar stories, and discover hope in their journey.
ALSO READ: Everything You Need to Know About the Squeeze Technique (step-by-step)What Happens When You Stop Masturbating
While in the first few days, you may experience moodiness, stress, frequent arousal, and even slight desperation to masturbate, this will pass.
When you stop masturbating, there are a ton of physical, mental, and emotional changes that take place.
While in the first few days, you may experience moodiness, stress, frequent arousal, and even slight desperation to masturbate, this will pass. Given some time, you may experience the following benefits:
- More happiness and optimism
- Greater self-control and willpower
- Increased sexual energy and stamina
- Lowered levels of stress, anxiety, and depression
- Boosted confidence and self-esteem
- Increased memory and focus
No wonder several sexual movements like NoFap or No Nut November help encourage men and women to abstain from masturbation.
ALSO READ: What's your best sex position? Let's find out.KEY TAKEAWAYS
- Masturbation is a normal and healthy part of human sexuality, so long as it does not interfere with your everyday life
- Compulsive masturbation is an excessive sexual behavior habit that can impact your physical and mental health over time
- Some of the most effective strategies to help you abstain from masturbating include avoiding pornography, exploring productive outlets to fill the void of masturbation, remaining present in personal relationships, taking smaller steps, limiting alone time, being kind and compassionate to yourself, and being willing to seek support when necessary
- Once you control your masturbation habits, you will feel happier, more confident and even experience a healthy sex life!