A selection of sex quotes to entertain or even educate.
Sex quotes.

We all have unspoken views on sex, dating, marriage, love and even masturbation.

Whether we vocalize these thoughts or not, we all crave belonging to such intimate and vulnerable subjects.

For this reason, we have come up with some of the most relatable quotes about sex and other similar topics to help encourage greater empowerment with less stigmatization.

From tame to thrilling, seductive to shocking, these sex quotes will impress in more ways than one, plus some funny bonus quotes at the end.

Let's get into it.

Sex Quotes


There's something unique about dating that tends to bring more questions than answers, especially in the first couple of months.

As Tom Sims (American athlete) once mentioned ever-so-bluntly, "girls say they like a sensitive man, but then they complain about my premature ejaculation".

Although this may be the common theme for so many women, it's wrong of us to assume all women (and men, for that matter) are the same! Regarding dating, "a person's readiness to date is largely a matter of maturity and environment".

Although we all attempt to 'play the game' as we navigate through the world of dating, at the end of the day, "dating is about finding out who you are and who others are. If you show up in a masquerade outfit, neither is going to happen".

When you're ready to put your time, energy, and authentic self into the process, you may be surprised at the success you find.


my mother told me that life isn't always about pleasing yourself and that sometimes you have to do things for the sole benefit of another human being. I completely agreed with her but reminded her that that was what blow jobs were for - Chelsea Handler (comedian)

We have all heard the quote, "a happy wife is a happy life." Still, there's undoubtedly much more to a marriage that keeps two people together forever — that is, happily.

As the Austrian composer of romantic music, Franz Schubert once said, "happy is the man who finds a true friend, and far happier is he who finds that true friend in his wife".

Like a best friend, finding that person who matches your energy, shares your passion for life and brings out the best in you is one you can stand by happily for years to come.

Sure, it may not always be this black and white. Even the comedian Chelsea Handler revealed that "my mother told me that life isn't always about pleasing yourself and that sometimes you have to do things for the sole benefit of another human being. I completely agreed with her but reminded her that that was what blow jobs were for".

While some put more value in communication and honesty, others consider passion and blow jobs to top their list of marriage necessities, and that's perfectly normal!

No matter what type of marriage you're involved in or aspire to be in one day, nobody says it better than Ray Barone in Everybody Loves Raymond… "Look, you want to know what marriage is really like? Fine. You wake up; she's there. You come back from work, she's there. You fall asleep, she's there. You eat dinner, she's there. You know? I mean, I know that sounds like a bad thing, but it's not".

In the simplest of words, this quote speaks to the perfections and imperfections of your everyday marriage — the good and the bad.


Relationships are an exciting time for two people to spend committed to one another without fearing the pressure of being involved in an actual marriage.

Throughout a relationship, you learn about one another, grow together, and even feel as though… as Stephanie Perkins suggested… "Home isn't a place. It is a person. And we are finally home".

But what happens when you combine two very opposite people and blend them into one lopsided relationship?

Is it a passionate flame built to last, or is it a disaster waiting to happen?

While many of us differ from our partners in one way or another, the one thing that can be made certain is that "women fake orgasms and men fake finances". Although slightly exaggerated, there is some version of the truth on either side.


good sex is about free emotions; bad sex is about blocked emotions - Deepak Chopra (Indian-American author)

There's a lot that goes into intimacy between two individuals. Of course, there's the physical side of intimacy that desires a balance of dominance and submission, seduction and pleasure, but there is also a powerful emotional side as well.

As the Indian-American author Deepak Chopra, compares sex with emotions, he says, "good sex is about free emotions; bad sex is about blocked emotions". In other words, without giving in to the emotional pleasure of your intimate experience, you might be doomed for bad sex!

As such a natural part of our human existence, whether it's for the purpose of an orgasm or to have a child, "sex is…perfectly natural…" as the Canadian writer Sue Johanson once said, "… It's something that's pleasurable. It's enjoyable and it enhances a relationship. So why don't we learn as much as we can about it and become comfortable with ourselves as sexual human beings because we are all sexual?".

This ignites a powerful question: why are we so afraid to speak up about sex and bring to light more about our needs, desires and fantasies? As Mokokoma said himself, "We would not be ashamed of doing some of the things we do in private if the number of sane human beings who do them in public were large enough".


the difference between sex and love is that sex relieves tension and love causes it - Woody Allen

Similar to sex, love is the combination of emotions and behaviors that are defined by expressions of passion, commitment, and intimacy. So you may be asking, what separates love from sex? As Woody Allen so comically described it "the difference between sex and love is that sex relieves tension and love causes it".

Of course, this isn't always the case — sure, some people can live passionately in love without so much of a challenge but a couple bumps in the road along the way. While this is the love we all long for, we could wait years to find something so pure. But "we waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love". This quote helps us break free of our need to love someone perfect when we can create something perfect.

With love comes care, affection, a sense of protection and belonging, trust, and attraction. While the intensity of our love can ebb and flow, the authenticity of it will not waiver. Unless, of course, there is heartbreak involved. As Soo Jie once said, "when you are in love, and you get hurt, it's like a cut — it will heal, but there will always be a scar." With every great thing comes some risk, and while pain and heartache are certainly a downfall of love, falling for the right person will make it all worth your while.


Don't knock masturbation — it's sex with someone I love - Woody Allen

When the search for a partner has gone awry, or perhaps you need some "you time" in the midst of a hectic week of work, it's time to turn to the great release of self-pleasure.

Masturbation is the perfect way to explore your own sexual self and find out what you desire in this intimate setting. As the famous author Chloe Turlow describes, "reading — like masturbation — is something you do alone, and very little in life brings more pleasure".

While it might sound a little lonely, masturbation is anything but that! Think of it more like an act of self-care and, as Woody Allen says, "Don't knock masturbation — it's sex with someone I love". When you put it like that, what's more, intimate than that!?

When you put in the time, energy and patience, you might even turn out like the American musician Les Claypool who says, "In the early days, all I hoped was to make a living out of what I did best. But, since there's no real market for masturbation, I had to fall back on my bass-playing abilities."

Bonus - Funny Quotes

Regarding love, marriage, sex and everything in between, we are all human at the end of the day and need a little comic relief! Besides, you know what they say… "When life gives you melons, wear a low-cut top." While it's not exactly the whole "make lemonade out of lemons", it certainly does make a lot of sense.

Here is a bundle of bonus quotes about sex to keep you laughing.

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin
A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes, she's a tramp. - Joan Rivers
I know I'm a handful, but that's why you have two hands. - anonymous
I think we can all agree that sleeping around is a great way to meet people. - Chelsea Handler
We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation. - Lily Tomlin
ALSO READ: What's your best sex position? Let's find out.

The Bottom Line

There are many different ways to describe dating, love, marriage, relationships, sex and masturbation and — as you've read — so many of these perspectives share a very similar outlook. Although some are a little more raw than others, it helps paint a better picture of the purpose behind each topic and how we all can relate strangely and interestingly.

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Medical Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and is not intended to give medical advice or substitute for the medical advice of a physician.

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