Exploring what role a penis size plays in sexual pleasure and satisfaction.
Does size matter? In bed, a man and a woman discuss how penis size impacts sexual pleasure and satisfaction.

Does size matter?

Size of the men's penis that is.

The adult industry has been glamorizing large penises since its inception. As a result, men have become more self-conscious about whether or not their penis size measures up to societal standards – whatever that may be!

Read on as we discuss whether or not penis size matters and, most importantly, how to enhance pleasure, confidence, and overall sexual satisfaction no matter the length, girth, or curve of your penis.

In this article:

Note: Read the whole article or scroll down to the KEY TAKEAWAYS section at the end of this article for a short summary.


  • Penis size can vary quite drastically from one individual to the next. For most penis owners, the average size while erect is about 5.1 - 5.5 inches in length and 4.56 inches in girth. 
  • Genetics plays a considerable role in determining male penis size. Other important factors include hormones, nutrition, environment, body type, physical fitness, and underlying medical conditions.
  • On average, penis growth usually peaks between the ages of 11 to 15. However, some young men may not reach their full penis length until they reach 18 to 21. Penis growth is affected by genetics, hormones, diet, lifestyle habits, stress, and more.

Does Penis Size Matter for Sexual Pleasure

Although "does size matter" is a widely debated topic globally, it is essential to note that various factors influence sexual satisfaction, and penis size is just one of them.

Interestingly, research suggests that penis size may matter more to men than it does to women. Regardless of the size of a man's penis, most women attribute the quality of sexual experience to the connection shared between themselves and their partners.

Communication, intimacy, and mutual or reciprocated pleasure are all the foundations of creating a satisfying sexual experience.

ALSO READ: How to Last Longer in Bed: 13 Actionable Tips for Men

What Happens When Penis is Too Big

There is a prominent cultural perception that a bigger penis means more pleasure.

A large penis can contribute to painful sex, specifically for a female. One study found that a neophallus girth wider than 15.1 cm (5.94 inches) can lead to difficulty in penetrative intercourse and potential tearing of the vaginal walls.

How to enjoy sex with a larger penis?

  • Start with plenty of foreplay: According to Ob-Gyn specialist Dr. Jennifer Landa, foreplay can help stimulate arousal, which increases blood flow to the genitals to help lubricate the vagina, making sex more comfortable and stimulating.
  • Don't shy away from lube: When it comes to a big penis, lubrication is essential for making penetrative sex possible and more pleasurable. It works by decreasing friction and minimizing the risk of vaginal tearing or pain during intercourse.
  • Change your position during intercourse: Sex therapist Dr. Jessica O'Reilly explains that larger penises are better equipt at certain sex positions that minimize deep penetration and put the woman in control during intercourse, such as reverse cowgirl, seated straddle, and forward spooning.

What Happens When Penis Is Too Small

Although having a small penis can be challenging, it should not stop you from having a fun, pleasurable, and adventurous sex life. Generally speaking, many women are willing to look past the penis size so long as their guy is open to exploring other ways to satisfy them.

ALSO READ: Top 12 Foreplay Ideas

How to enjoy sex with a smaller penis?

  • Explore oral sex and manual stimulation: Sex educator and owner of the online sex shop 'Early to Bed' Searah Deysach advocates that a combination of oral and manual stimulation is an incredibly sensual experience that can offer your partner more pleasure compared to penetrative sex alone.
  • Try anal sex: If you and your partner are both willing and open to exploring anal sex, starting with the right tools and techniques is helpful. For instance, before jumping straight to penile-anal penetration, warm your partner's body up with a single finger with plenty of lube.
  • Discover new positions: Similar to large penises, certain sex positions can offer more satisfaction during vaginal intercourse. For small penises, it's important to find sex positions that help maximize penetration depth, such as doggy style, missionary, or forward-facing cowgirl.
  • Use sex toys: When it comes to making sex pleasurable, sex toys can often fill any void and help to enhance stimulation. There are also toys known as penis extenders which can add more length and girth to the penis.
ALSO READ: Sex Positions to Help Men Last Longer

Does Penis Size Matter for Self-Esteem and Confidence

For some penis owners, their package size plays a significant role in their self-esteem and confidence levels.

In our culture, there is a common belief that being well-endowed is considered more desirable and sexually attractive. It is often exaggerated in popular media or advertisements, which feature images of men with large penises as a symbol of masculinity.

When a man experiences extreme dissatisfaction or worries over the size of their penis, it can be referred to in research as "penis size anxiety". These feelings of inadequacy may result in men having a lower libido, increased feelings of shame or embarrassment, and an increased risk of erectile dysfunction.

The question is, does size matter to women as much as it matters to men?

A study published by the Psychology of Men and Masculinity reported that most women surveyed did not consider size to factor into their sexual satisfaction during intercourse.

Interestingly, 84% of women report being completely satisfied with the size of their partner. In comparison, 2% desired their partner to have smaller penises.

Psychologist and researcher Dr. Barry Komisaruk explains that although some women prefer longer penises to achieve a vaginally stimulated orgasm, not every woman desires to orgasm this way!

ALSO READ: Your Handy Guide to Sexual Foreplay

Does Penis Size Matter for Overall Sexual Satisfaction?

Sexual satisfaction is a complex human experience with very little to do with a man's penis size.

According to psychologist and certified sex therapist Dr. Holly Richmond, most women never mention wanting a man with a big penis. Instead, they are more likely to desire a man who is a good lover and will treat them right in bed.

In other words, most women are more sexually satisfied with a man who is attentive, open to exploring each other's sexual desires, and wants to deepen their physical and emotional bond.

Does Penis Width Matter More than Length?

A survey of female perceptions found that the most preferred penis size across 90% of women was more about the width than the length.

In another case, a study found that a larger penis circumference can help stretch the vaginal opening and, as a result, stimulate the deeper structures, such as the clitoral glans.

Factors That Affect Sexual Satisfaction Beyond Penis Size

Remember, there is much more to sex than just penile-vaginal intercourse.

Sexual satisfaction consists of many different characteristics. For men, the level of sexual satisfaction experienced with a partner is rarely dependent solely on their penis size!

Here are some other factors that affect sexual satisfaction:

1. Communication

Effective communication is important for male and female sexual satisfaction. Having the openness and comfort to communicate your sexual needs and being able to listen and respond to that of your partner helps you unlock your deepest desires in the bedroom.

Good communication can also help boost trust, intimacy, and mutual understanding, leading to a more satisfying sexual experience.

2. Emotional Connection

Couples describe emotional connection as the extent to which they bond with each other on an emotional level, experiencing feelings of love, trust, and vulnerability toward one another.

For men, emotional connection can contribute to feelings of validation by making them feel appreciated, desired, and understood by their partners. It can also alleviate performance anxiety, making sex more relaxed and comfortable.

3. Physical Intimacy

Of course, physical intimacy is a fundamental component of sexual satisfaction.

Regarding sex, attraction, and arousal, men generally exhibit a greater inclination toward visual and physical stimuli.

Physical forms of intimacy such as touch, kissing, and caressing can stimulate men's desires and lead to more sexual satisfaction.

Remember, there is much more to sex than just penile-vaginal intercourse.

ALSO READ: What's your best sex position? Let's find out.


  • Penises come in all different sizes and shapes.
  • Current sex culture makes men overanalyze what type of penis sizes are more desirable than others.
  • These societal standards can contribute to men having low confidence and self-esteem.
  • While big penises have become the standard for masculinity, research has shown that plenty of other factors contribute to sexual pleasure and satisfaction.
  • Women place more value on men who are kind, communicative, confident, passionate, and attentive to their sexual needs.
  • So, if you fall below the average male size, don't sweat it!
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Article sources

  1. 1.
  2. 2.
    Sex therapist Dr. Jessica O'Reilly https://www.sexwithdrjess.com
  3. 3.
  4. 4.
    Psychologist and researcher Dr. Barry Komisaruk https://www.spine-sexmed.org/barry-komisaruk-phd
  5. 5.
    Psychologist and certified sex therapist https://drhollyrichmond.com

Medical Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and is not intended to give medical advice or substitute for the medical advice of a physician.

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