YouGov found that 58% of people had experienced messy and dramatic breakups, so while this is great for Ben & Jerry’s, this isn’t great for us Aussies in general. So, the “don’ts” seem like a good place to start (1).
4 Don’ts when being a HEARTBREAKER:
- Don’t do it over text! Even though it’s hard, the least you can do is communicate IRL.
- Don’t be rude or defensive when discussing your reasons for the breakup. Prep what you’re going to say and frame it about how you feel, not about them.
- Don’t give your partner false hope by showing any signs of uncertainty in your decision.
- Don't be disrespectful, if that person wants space, give them all the space in the world.
4 Don'ts when being HEARTBROKEN1. Don’t be defensive. No one likes to feel unwanted, but try to see it from their perspective.
2. Don’t try to prove your worth to them. Yes, you’re hot shit, but if they aren’t able to see that, then it’s a lost cause.
3. Don’t put all the blame on yourself. It takes two to tango, and it’s never just one person's fault.
4. Very important - don’t be petty and hurt them back. It’s easy to want to balance out the power struggle of being dumped by saying hurtful statements, acting out and trying to make them jealous, but it will only make you feel worse in the long run.
Having a clean and amicable breakup would be the absolute dream but we know that’s easier said than done. That's why we are giving you our top tips to try and help you and your partner end on the very best terms - lickity split!
4 Do’s when being a HEARTBREAKER:
1. Give clear reasons as to what has led you to this decision. The better you get your points across, the better your partner/ex-partner will understand.
2. As hard as it may be, stay strong in your choice to break up with your partner as ‘uhmming and ahhing’ will only confuse them about where your head is at.
3. Be respectful of how your partner may feel in this tough time and how they may need space from you. This is normal, common and needs to be respected.
4. Make sure your partner has someone to talk to after the breakup, like a friend or a family member. Mental health can go into freefall in these situations so it’s important to make sure they’re surrounded.
4 Do’s when being a HEARTBROKEN:
1. Let yourself feel all the emotions. It’s tempting to try and act strong by bottling up your emotions, but it won’t help you move on. Crack up the T-Swizzle and eat too much chocolate.
2. Accept the breakup and try to move on. Instead of begging for them back and trying to change yourself to fit what they want, focus on you! Hit the gym, go clubbing with mates, just get back to what you want outside of the relationship.
3. If you’re finding it hard to move on, go cold-turkey from your ex. Delete their number, unfollow them on Instagram, unsubscribe to any and all content from them. This doesn’t need to be forever, just until you feel ready.
4. Make sure to surround yourself with positive people who are willing to be a shoulder for you to cry on. We know people are reluctant to do this but what are friends for if not be there for the good and the bad.
We hope these tips equip you with the knowledge to be the very best break-uperer / break-upee you can be! Here at Steady Freddy, we’re all about creating a better f***ing world for everyone, so for every couple we stop from spiraling and having an on-again off-again train-wreck of a break-up because of this article, we’ll pat ourselves on the back.